The journey – what you can expect EMOTIONALLY
This is something I was not prepared for. I was told by the dozens of doctors I saw that I will feel tired and may get a bit depressed. THAT’S IT!
Emotionally
This is hard. Even now, this is the hardest to write about. I guess that therefore might make it the most important.
One of the most obvious reactions is frustration. Frustration that you got sick in the first place, frustration that your lifestyle is now completely changed and frustration that there is no cure or definite ‘end time’.
As a person who likes to plan and prepare, this was particularly hard for me. While broken limbs are no fun, at least there is a usual 6week recovery period. And during those 6weeks you can at least still do school, work and socialize.
In our case, it is our energy that is broken. This is harder to deal with and harder to fix.
Sadness & Depression. This is the lowest I have ever felt. It seems like a vicious cycle because you are depressed and therefore want to curl up and cry and are not motivated to do anything. Not doing anything is depressing though, so then you get even more depressed. What sucked was that I could not even escape into the sweet relief of sleep, because I had trouble sleeping (quite torturous really – being too tired to even move, but not being able to sleep; like being stuck in horrible limbo).
From speaking to others who have had Glandular Fever and Chronic Fatigue, we agree that sometimes it is worth not resting and doing something like hanging out with friends. While you may spend the next week recovering in
bed, mentally and socially you feel better and, let’s face it, everything is easier to handle when you are happy.
This is where friends and family are critically important. Their support and understanding means the world – I cannot even begin to express my gratitude.
I have seen sites where people say they have been suffering from Glandular Fever for many years, and even some that say to just accept it and put up with mediocre energy and health.
I cannot comment on their experience or point of view, but I can tell you this: to keep from spiraling into a hopeless depression, it is better to be hopeful and optimistic. Have faith that you will recover. Realistic or not, I feel better when I believe that I am getting better.
What about you? What was the hardest part for you?
